Anxiety Case Study: Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone
This client story is based on real therapeutic work. Identifying details have been changed to protect confidentiality.
When “Sam” first came to work with me, anxiety had begun affecting almost every area of his life. He was experiencing overthinking, panic attacks and intense physical sensations, including palpitations when he woke in the morning. His mind moved between worries about his health, work, finances, the future and whatever might happen next.
Being alone had also become particularly difficult. Sam felt anxious when his family travelled or he was separated from the people whose presence helped him feel safe. On his intake form, he rated the impact of the problem on his life at 8 out of 10.
Sam wanted to overcome the anxiety, regain his emotional balance and feel confident in himself again. He wanted to become comfortable when he was alone, return to socialising and trust that he could manage whatever life presented. At that point, however, even the beginning of an ordinary day could feel threatening.
When Sam woke with palpitations or another physical sign of anxiety, his attention immediately moved towards what he was feeling. He would monitor the sensation, wonder what it meant and become increasingly concerned about whether it would subside. The morning anxiety could remain with him until two or three in the afternoon, which meant much of his day was being shaped by the sensations he experienced in the first moments after waking and the fear he attached to them. As we explored what might be sitting underneath this pattern, a deeper and more complex story began to emerge.
The Fear of Being Alone Had a History
In our therapeutic work, Sam returned to an experience from when he was approximately two years old. He had been at a busy market with his mother when she wanted to go farther inside. She left him with a storekeeper she knew and told him that she would return.
From an adult perspective, his mother had made sure he was with someone she trusted. She had explained that she was coming back and then did exactly that. Two-year-old Sam, however, could not understand the situation in the same way. To him, his mother was suddenly gone. She seemed to be away for so long that he became afraid she would never return. Although his mother had not abandoned him, that was how the experience felt to him at the time. This gave us an early insight into why separation could later feel so threatening. Being away from someone he relied on was not simply uncomfortable. Part of him appeared to associate their absence with being left and not knowing whether they would come back.
When Sam was a teenager, he experienced another painful and unexpected loss. One of his favourite teachers died by suicide. This was someone Sam valued and felt connected to, and the death left him devastated. He struggled to understand why it had happened and how someone who had been part of his life could suddenly be gone without warning. The loss appeared to reinforce something the much younger Sam had already feared at the market: people who mattered to him could disappear, and he might have no warning or control over whether they returned.
This was not the last time Sam experienced a sudden and confronting loss. When he was in his mid-20s, his cousin also died by suicide. Sam’s mother and aunt called him to the house without explaining what had happened. When he entered his cousin’s room, he discovered his body. Sam was devastated and frightened by what he encountered. He could not understand why his cousin had done it and found himself thinking that his cousin could have spoken to him. Perhaps, if Sam had known what he was experiencing, there might have been something he could have said or done. The experience brought together several painful emotions. Someone he loved had died suddenly, Sam had received no warning before being confronted with what had happened, and he was left with unanswered questions about whether the loss could have been prevented.
Years later, Sam experienced danger from a different position. During an outing with friends, he went into a deeper part of a river. Although he knew how to swim, he suddenly found himself struggling and realised that he was drowning. His friends could see him, but they did not understand the seriousness of what was happening. They did not realise that he needed help. Sam eventually managed to free himself and get out of the water, but he felt embarrassed and never told his friends what had happened. He had been surrounded by people, yet during a potentially life-threatening moment, he had effectively been alone. Nobody understood the danger he was in, and he carried the experience without speaking about it afterwards.
One Emotional Pattern Connected the Experiences
On the surface, these events were very different. There was a small child waiting for his mother to return, a teenager grieving a beloved teacher, a young man unexpectedly confronted by his cousin’s death and an adult struggling in deep water while his friends remained unaware of the danger. Emotionally, however, a similar pattern connected them. People Sam cared about could disappear without warning. Something devastating could happen before he had time to understand or prepare for it. He could be in serious distress while the people around him remained unaware of what was really happening.
These experiences helped us understand why being alone in the present could feel so threatening. His fear was not simply about whether he could occupy a house by himself. Part of him appeared to associate being alone with the possibility that something serious might happen and nobody would know, understand or be available to help. His morning palpitations could activate the same fear. A physical sensation would appear without warning, his mind would move towards possible danger and being separated from the people who helped him feel safe could make the experience feel even more threatening. Beneath the anxiety was an expectation that something could happen suddenly and he might have to face it alone.
Our work therefore went beyond trying to stop the palpitations or persuade Sam that he should feel comfortable by himself. We worked with the meaning attached to these earlier experiences and the emotional conclusions he had formed through them. The frightened child at the market had not understood that his mother would return. The teenager and young adult had been left trying to make sense of sudden deaths they could neither predict nor control. The man in the river had survived a dangerous moment even though nobody else understood what was happening.
Sam could now revisit these experiences with the perspective and resources that had not been available to him at the time. Between our sessions, he listened consistently to his personalised hypnosis recording and practised simple techniques to reinforce safety and calm. Gradually, the connection between being alone and being in danger began to loosen.
His World Started Opening Up Again
The first change Sam noticed was that his morning anxiety became shorter and less intense. By his 60-day follow-up, the sensations that had previously remained until two or three in the afternoon were disappearing shortly after he woke. Instead of losing hours of his day to monitoring and fear, he was increasingly able to continue with what he needed and wanted to do.
The shift became especially clear when Sam needed to attend an MRI. Previously, a situation involving his health and being alone could have activated several of his fears at once. This time, he attended the appointment independently and felt much calmer than he would have expected. Completing the MRI alone represented more than getting through one medical appointment. It allowed Sam to experience himself remaining capable in a situation that might once have felt threatening. It offered present-day evidence that he could encounter uncertainty without immediately becoming overwhelmed or needing another person beside him to feel safe.
That confidence began extending into his everyday life. Sam became comfortable working from home, staying in the house by himself and sleeping alone when his family was away. Situations that had previously made him question whether he could cope were now showing him that he could. He began describing himself as more capable of handling both small and significant challenges. He was also becoming less likely to assume that something would go wrong simply because he was alone or experienced an unfamiliar physical sensation. As the fear receded, his independence returned.
Ninety Days Later, He Was Choosing Bigger Challenges
By Sam’s 90-day follow-up, he reported experiencing no anxiety, greater confidence and an overall improvement in his wellbeing. The changes were now visible well beyond his mornings and his ability to remain at home alone. At work, Sam spoke in front of approximately 40 to 50 people and delivered training without the nervousness he would previously have experienced. Rather than feeling relieved that the presentation was over and avoiding another one, he began planning to do more public speaking and had even agreed to participate in a debate.
His life outside work was expanding too. Sam was socialising more, attending dance classes with his wife and planning an overseas trip with a childhood friend. He was comfortable staying and sleeping at home alone, while his palpitations and related physical sensations had become much less frequent and were no longer interfering with his daily life. When Sam first came to me, separation from the people who helped him feel safe could trigger intense anxiety. Ninety days later, he was preparing to travel overseas with a friend. That change captured what had shifted for him.
Sam had not simply become less anxious. He had developed greater trust in his ability to cope, and that trust was allowing him to participate more fully in his work, relationships and life.
From Fearing He Was Alone to Trusting He Could Cope
The palpitations, panic and fear of being alone had initially appeared to be separate problems. As our work developed, they became connected through a deeper emotional expectation: Someone I love could disappear, or something frightening could happen, and I might be alone with it. Understanding that pattern allowed us to work with more than the visible anxiety symptoms. It helped Sam make sense of why separation, physical sensations and uncertainty could activate such an intense response, even when he consciously knew that he was capable and safe.
My approach combines Rapid Transformational Therapy®, clinical hypnotherapy, conversational hypnosis and Somatic Trauma-Informed Coaching techniques. I adapt the therapeutic process to the individual client and what emerges through our work rather than applying the same standard anxiety script to everyone.
For Sam, the clearest evidence of change could be seen in what he was doing. He was staying home alone, attending medical appointments independently, speaking in front of groups, taking on new challenges and planning experiences that anxiety might once have led him to avoid. His life was no longer being organised around the fear that someone might disappear or something might happen while he was alone. It was beginning to be shaped by his growing belief that whatever happened, he could respond.
Looking for Help With Anxiety?
I am Julie Chal, a Rapid Transformational Therapist, anxiety specialist and Clinical Hypnotherapist based in Perth, Australia. I work with clients in Perth and online across Australia and internationally.
If anxiety is affecting your confidence, independence, work, relationships or ability to do the things you want to do, my Tranceform Anxiety to Thrive program is designed to explore the deeper patterns contributing to the anxiety.
The first step is a 50-minute Consultation Call, where we explore what you are experiencing, what may be contributing to it and whether my approach is appropriate for you.
This story reflects one client’s individual experience. Outcomes and timeframes vary according to each person and their circumstances.